Among the loses '
the highest was never counted
an idea leading to liberation
left air
just because the mind
was careless.

sparks were silent
words avoided risks

hence the long gaps.

it was a long way
to see
differences

how could
I ever imagine that
there would be
even a narrow difference
in your ways and mould
from the men i read about.

i heard stories
only about
the
Us.

demands of sages

you are not ever

the corrupt eye of this face

you are never ever the

fiction let loose by ghosts

you are not by any chance

the decay of my genes

for all that i did with you

is to commit marriage as a crime

and for all that what we did and

what former years did to all couple

we are neither criminals

nor ever thiefs,

we simply

existed

demanded

fought and dies.

In the lAP OF EARLY RISERS.

there are two episodes when the early risers ruined the spirit of late risers.

early risers are so bad.

the worst are those who thinks they are early risers.

they are also very bad who thinks they know

they are worse who think they know more than others know

and the worst of all are those who feed them

the sorse of this kind are

thos who let others think that

"you know better than us"

peopling with personality

person should be a calm walking down distance,
ignoring clashes within conflicts
a sleep
a song
smiling consolation
evation
elation
into interrelation.

sliding down the shaded dark
illuminating the sides
theres that path
the only possibleone\
after synthesis
love
ah
love is possible...
smiles smiles smiles.

what will you think of yourself

if at least for once

one day

you feel

you have reached where all your life you have been trying to be.

And you feel you have forever or at least once beaten all voices of negation.

Not promising any character deformity

for that matter

no conformity either.

will reach and fall.

jump and fall and fill and spill.

will rush and richly win and spoil.

Faith is why I'm here.

I promise you ,
for promise is a present,
to give name to your errors
and delete it,
for there...
for once and forever you have made me beleive.

Somewhere
nowhere
but somewhere..

that nilness
that scares
those blind limbs on blank spots
vengeance, breathless soght out love,
beaten fallen and bruised..

and finally
without rain..
through rear window of tired heart
without promises
through all noises
where all victories
arched behind..
on a dull withered day
a journey begins.

ts when all love ends
n all search ceases
that life hits you..
coz thats wen u starts
forgetting
forgiving..
and accepting
there s nothing
to know, practice,
or argue for.

And then U need faith
to fill all emptiness
and faith...
to heal all wounds.

And faith is why i'm here.

growth

Growth is many sided.
My focus has been on emotion.
By choice or chance, not sure.

Anyways its almost fulfilled now.

I feel and am balanced, that's it, that's enough.

finally i got rid of the obsession about my son, sister and mom..am quoting an earlier blog post.:

(Married to:
My marriage
will have ceremony.
My mother will accompany me
till the earth(with a wreath?)
She will lend me to the earth's cradle
slowly to be degenerated and might murmer
"come back"
I must be happy
to die atleast once for her
coz, I never died in life(for anyone).
never married.
My mother will have a chance
to leave me
to lose me as she ever dreamt, to say she's got her daughter married to.)

But i got married some months back..
And am harmonious with life.
No more such fears of losing myself and self in marriage /relationship.

I am grown up to manage them.
and to have pleasures and pains
not being stuck as pain.



Finally i feel free and back to me or as just born free... quite accidentally today is my birthday..

Read two favorite authors..Atwood and Lessing.

create

you, the source of delight, my friends, are that voice which never ceases, which always rain over me, never letting me be absorbed in dryness.It needs great strength to turn my faces from you, to look at anything else, a book or any other work of art.When you live here, walking the dream holding your precious love in bright eyes, it's always you my near human harts that i reads.
when do i read the print?
not when my mind is loaded, noisy.
I talk to the print more than listen.
i never let it say anything.
All the efforts these days are put in making it possible to listen to letters.
So much lonely a place in heart is needed for that
I'm searching for that inner space where i never meet you all.
And not just to be there, but to enjoy,
never be suffocating.
just another for of creativity.