"he liked women who were not necessarily more stupid but lazier than himself. Sloth aroused him: a girl's unwashed dishes were an invitation to laxity and indulgence." ---Margaret Atwood, 'Polarities' .

That was the day I decided to be good against fear, to be fearless against wreck. Three things happened at the same time. Ben Okri's lament on spirits, the library Staff's cry over each other " are, paagal hei kya" and the bell. IT was fear.
Then two cries rebuilt behaviour on wall of future actions.
One, of a woman for a mad lover and two , of a mad woman over the abusive days with her husband.
My voice to them, clearly was that, you are born!
The moment is carrying three living beings at the same time, or two. It is OK even if it is called things, not human beings, because when love happened, it was taking you out of you, without asking your permission, the moment you let in created a terrible beauty. ITs strain and strings are not pain, its rhythmic and you be careful not to be deaf. IT was the day rain was reluctant to touch the ground.

Among the loses '
the highest was never counted
an idea leading to liberation
left air
just because the mind
was careless.

sparks were silent
words avoided risks

hence the long gaps.

it was a long way
to see
differences

how could
I ever imagine that
there would be
even a narrow difference
in your ways and mould
from the men i read about.

i heard stories
only about
the
Us.

demands of sages

you are not ever

the corrupt eye of this face

you are never ever the

fiction let loose by ghosts

you are not by any chance

the decay of my genes

for all that i did with you

is to commit marriage as a crime

and for all that what we did and

what former years did to all couple

we are neither criminals

nor ever thiefs,

we simply

existed

demanded

fought and dies.

In the lAP OF EARLY RISERS.

there are two episodes when the early risers ruined the spirit of late risers.

early risers are so bad.

the worst are those who thinks they are early risers.

they are also very bad who thinks they know

they are worse who think they know more than others know

and the worst of all are those who feed them

the sorse of this kind are

thos who let others think that

"you know better than us"

peopling with personality

person should be a calm walking down distance,
ignoring clashes within conflicts
a sleep
a song
smiling consolation
evation
elation
into interrelation.

sliding down the shaded dark
illuminating the sides
theres that path
the only possibleone\
after synthesis
love
ah
love is possible...
smiles smiles smiles.

what will you think of yourself

if at least for once

one day

you feel

you have reached where all your life you have been trying to be.

And you feel you have forever or at least once beaten all voices of negation.

Not promising any character deformity

for that matter

no conformity either.

will reach and fall.

jump and fall and fill and spill.

will rush and richly win and spoil.

Faith is why I'm here.

I promise you ,
for promise is a present,
to give name to your errors
and delete it,
for there...
for once and forever you have made me beleive.

Somewhere
nowhere
but somewhere..

that nilness
that scares
those blind limbs on blank spots
vengeance, breathless soght out love,
beaten fallen and bruised..

and finally
without rain..
through rear window of tired heart
without promises
through all noises
where all victories
arched behind..
on a dull withered day
a journey begins.

ts when all love ends
n all search ceases
that life hits you..
coz thats wen u starts
forgetting
forgiving..
and accepting
there s nothing
to know, practice,
or argue for.

And then U need faith
to fill all emptiness
and faith...
to heal all wounds.

And faith is why i'm here.